


Dew and Doritos

by HungerDragon



Category: Pendragon - D. J. MacHale
Genre: Doritos Chips, Humor, Mountain Dew, Too much Dew, Wired on Dew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HungerDragon/pseuds/HungerDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Pendragon series.</p><p>This is a one-shot from Raven Rise when Patrick Mac tried Mountain Dew for the first time and discovered how much he loved it. Courtney and Mark return and much to their surprise, they find the Traveler has been rather busy with Doritos and Dew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dew and Doritos

The plan was for the two acolytes to head over to Courtney's house in search of new clothes while Patrick would stay behind at Mark's house. They knew if there was anyone who had the skills and expertise to dig deep through the vast online database, it was him. So many questions had risen that needed answering. So many mysteries that needed solving. Who was this Naymeer guy? How had he ended up having such a huge following? Where was he from? And above all, what part would he play in the upcoming battle for Second Earth?

The answers to all those questions were out there somewhere. While Patrick might have been struggling through his own fears and insecurities as a Traveler, there was still one thing he had total and absolute confidence in.

He could solve the mystery of who this man was.

Ultimately, he would be the one to unravel this whole mess and seek the answers they all so desperately needed. The pieces of the puzzle had yet to come together, and no doubt he would be the one to help bring those pieces together.

Soon after, Patrick was busily digging through the various online databases. Of course, the computer he now sat at was nowhere near as advanced as those on Third Earth, but it was all he needed. It wouldn't matter how technologically simple these computers were. If that man had the kind of following he currently did, then he'd have no troubles using what Mark had called the Internet.

Thirty minutes after he'd begun searching, however, he found his stomach growling. It had been hours since he'd last eaten, but it wasn't till now that he suddenly realized how hungry he was. He knew he wouldn't continue his search effectively on an empty stomach, so he got up and left the bedroom in search of something to eat.

When he entered the kitchen, his first thought was to check the cupboards. He figured all he'd need was a quick snack, something to recharge his batteries.

Opening up the cupboard next to the fridge, he scanned the shelves.

Chicken noodle soup?

No.

Cereal?

No.

Granola bars?

Nah.

His eyes then fell on a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, newly bought, unopened and highly tempting. It was like they were calling his name.

Patrick wasn't big on eating junk. Most times, he ate fairly healthy with the occasional treat but other then that, his apartment cupboards weren't filled with canned, artificial foods or those with high sodium or fat contents. He ate a lot of fresh fruits, vegetables, meats and drank mostly water.

But staring at that bag of unopened Doritos…he felt an unmistakable craving. It had been so long since he'd enjoyed the sweet, flavourful taste of chips. Would it really be that big a deal to have even a few?

"Oh, what the heck," he said with a shrug. He reached up, took the bag of Doritos and said to himself, "A few chips won't hurt."

 _And I'll just have a couple_ , he told himself. _It's not like I'll go and eat the whole bag._

Now all he needed was a drink to go with his snack, and he'd be all set to head on back upstairs to continue his searching.

Scanning Mark's fridge, he came across what you'd expect to find – Milk, juice, and a few bottles of flavoured water. Down on the bottom shelf though, he spotted something that he wasn't familiar with.

He reached down and pulled one out, inspecting it curiously. It was green-colored and across the can were the words Mountain Dew. He was familiar with most sodas back on Third Earth but as he stood there holding this can, he couldn't recall having ever tried this particular one before.

 _Guess I'll give it a try_ , thought Patrick.

Once back up in Mark's room, he took his place again at the computer desk, placing the bags of chips and Mountain Dew on the table. It was when he'd opened the large bag, dug inside and helped himself to some of the crunchy, cheesy chips that he wondered why he'd gone so long treating himself to this much-loved snack. They were delicious!

Even better then the Doritos, however, was this incredible soda called Mountain Dew. One sip of the sugary drink, and his eyes widened in surprise. He then held the can out in front of him, staring at it hungrily, and then quickly gulped down another mouthful. That was followed by another eager mouthful, and another…and so on till his bladder could take no more.

After a much-needed trip to the bathroom, the Traveler was back at it again. Much to his surprise, he hadn't expected to gulp down the can of soda so quickly. One minute it was full, the next…it was empty.

Well, that was a problem. With still half a bag of Doritos left and an empty pop can, there was only one solution to this newest dilemma.

He'd have to take another trip downstairs to the kitchen.

This time he was clever. He didn't head back upstairs with only one can of Mountain Dew…he carried up three. He figured it was much easier to carry up a handful of sodas rather then have to make multiple trips back down to the fridge.

Like with the first can, he devoured the second, leaving not a single, delicious drop at the bottom. Who knew how incredibly sweet-tasting this simple soda would prove to be? Sure, he'd tasted Pepsi, Coke, Ginger Ale, Root Beer and so many others but none could compare to the wonderful soda that was Mountain Dew.

It wasn't long till the desk was now a cluttered mess. Between the numerous cans of Mountain Dew and bags of Doritos, it looked nothing like it had before Mark and Courtney had left. Not only that, but there were dozens of crumbs scattered about – on the table, on the keyboard, on the chair and even on his lap.

Patrick was a neat and orderly person but right then, anyone might have guessed he was a slob from the future.

For the next few hours, he went back to searching the web, printing off various sheets of valuable information. But he was now busy multi-tasking for as he was waiting for the pages to come through the printer, he'd dig back into the bag of Doritos, disappointed when realizing he'd eaten his way through yet another bag. Luckily he'd returned to his workspace with two more bags, so he'd simply tear open a new bag and begin the process all over again.

From his exploration of the Internet, he ultimately learned a lot about this man they called Alexander Naymeer and his Ravinian cult.

He also discovered that he had a new and undeniable love for this sugary soda.

"A lovely relationship you and I share," Patrick declared, now on his fifth can of soda. After taking another sip, he sighed in contentment, leaned back in the chair and added, "There's not a single soda quite like you out there, that I'm certain of."

When Mark and Courtney had finally returned, they immediately noticed Patrick right where they'd left him. Everything was the same as when they'd left. The only difference was the desk was now a total mess. Observing the desk, they counted enough bags of Doritos and Mountain Dew to make them wonder if Patrick had been spending his time searching the web…or having a Second-Earth style sugar rush.

As he turned and looked back at them, they saw his eyes were wide and wild.

"Uh, you okay?" asked Courtney, her eyes darting back and forth between the Traveler and mountain of bags and cans.

"I'm _fantastic_!" Patrick exclaimed, holding up his sixth can of soda. "This sugary drink is incredible! Absolutely incredible!"

"Swell," Courtney remarked sarcastically. "He's wired on Dew."

"I'll say," Mark said in agreement. He then asked Patrick incredulously, "Patrick, exactly how many cans of soda did you drink?"

Patrick took another hit of soda, then set it back down on the desk along with the countless others.

"Six, I think," was the answer. After holding back a belch, he added, "Maybe seven. Uh…could be eight, actually. I lost count."

Mark's eyes widened in shock. "And I was craving one too. I bet there's none left in the fridge!"

"You could say that," said Patrick, digging into a bag of Doritos. He looked at Mark, shrugged an apology and said, "Sorry about that."

"I like Dew too but…c'mon man! You could have saved me some."

"I was thirsty," was Patrick's response, his eyes still locked on the soda can. "You've no idea how thirsty one gets searching the Internet."

"I'm surprised his bladder didn't explode," said Courtney, shaking her head and holding back a chuckle.

"You didn't eat all the Doritos too, did you?" asked Mark, eyeing the bag hungrily.

"Uhh…" said Patrick, shifting in the chair. "Well…I was pretty hungry and they just looked so good that I, uh…kind of ate everything. I left everything else in the cupboards though!"

Mark walked over to the desk and picked up one of the bags, frowning.

"Not a single Dorito remaining," he concluded, tossing it back on the desk. "Thank you, Patrick for leaving me some leftover crumbs. That was _very_ thoughtful of you."

"What can I say?" said Patrick, reaching for the can of Dew. "I was hungry!"

"And still thirsty obviously," Courtney threw in, amused by the two's back-and-forth comments.

"Yeah, but _c'mon_!" Mark shot back. "You could have saved me even one can!"

"Looks like you're not the only one who's hooked on Dew," Courtney declared to Mark.

"Guess so," said Mark.

"So what did you find?" Courtney asked Patrick, getting back down to business.

Patrick refocused his attention on the task at hand.

"It wasn't hard," he told her. "This thing you call the Internet is crude, but there's plenty of information about Naymeer."

He showed them the stack of pages he'd printed off. But when Courtney picked up one of the sheets to examine it, a disgusted expression broke out on her face.

"Gross!" she complained, looking it over. "You've got Dorito fingerprints all over these!"

"Sorry," said Patrick, shrugging again. "They're kind of a messy snack."

"And you've got crumbs all over the desk," she went on. "And on the chair, and on your lap, and you might want to look in the mirror. Your face is a mess. Not to mention your fingers…"

Patrick held up his fingers and couldn't argue with the fact that he was a mess. Perhaps he had helped himself to one too many cans of Dew and bags of Doritos.

"Dew and Doritos," Mark announced. "Patrick's newest addiction."

"Speaking of which," said Patrick, holding up one of the empty cans. "You wouldn't mind us stocking up on some more, would you?"

"You're not _still_ hungry?" asked Courtney in disbelief. "Don't tell me you're still hungry after all that?"

"Don't worry," Patrick assured her. "Just a little."

Mark's response was to shake his head, turn around and walk straight out the room while muttering something about, "Not even a can."


End file.
